MY POOR LIMITED EDITION CAMMO HAVAIANAS...

so yesterday i had my feet tattooed and FYI they look ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLY AMAZINGLY AMAZING!!!! in fact Quentin Tarantino with his foot fetish and all would be compelled to write an entire screenplay around these feet. in parts 1, 2, and 3. they're THAT good.

so, plastic wrapping, patches and bandages still on i went down to the gym to do an hour of cardio. sweating into these wounds heals them up chop chop. at least for me it does.

i convinced the manager to give me special treatment and go against the gyms "NO SHOES NO ENTRY" policy because it IS after all ME we're dealing with here and he said ok and turned a blind eye.

i wish i could've turned a blind eye to the ENORMOUS brownish-red puddle of oozing/slime/blood combination that had collected underneath my bike after 45 mins. it was really quite shocking actually. even to myself.

i did my best to wipe it up with my towel but it very quickly became clear that it was going to take something a helluva lot more powerful than a towel to clean THAT up.

so i quietly skulked off into the changeroom, put on dry clothes and just about leopard crawled outa there, a bit concerned about the size of that puddle on the floor.

but EVEN WORSE what was even MORE ALARMING was i realised that i was slipping and sliding in my LIMITED EDITION CAMMO HAVAIANAS! shit! designer footwear and this kind of thing just arn't meant to be together!

so i hurried home, frantically turned on the shower and started to wash up.

you'll be glad to know that my priorities are still in the right place however: i cleaned my legs before my shoes