SANDYRULZ lives up to her name almost all the time, but, when it comes to love and men, a year (max) down the line, she donnes her stone-face mask and transforms into...THE BORED IDENTITY!!!
yes it's all very clear when viewed from a distance. every single relationship bar none has never progressed beyond the 18 month mark and they all end because, as the scale tips and time slides toward that magic 18 month mark, i begin to grow bored and start to behave badly. the level of badness increases exponentially with my level of boredness the closer the mark becomes. until eventually, if the guy is still hanging in there and hasn't broken up with ME, i'm cornered into doing the dirty work and do the dumping myself. i have done this repeatedly throughout my entire adult life and so, having mastered the routine in this regard, i can truely say i am THE BORED SUPREMECY!
being the lowest common denominator in all of this, it has to be said that it really is NOT them. it's me.
so i've decided to give myself... THE BORED ULTIMATUM!
either i save everyone, including myself, alot of pain and anguish and stay single. and yes, i realise that means having to forego all those spine-crumbling, stomach-inverting, falling in love sensations that are, in my opinion, the highest point of the human experience.
either that or i start dating someone who's based in Addis Ababa. or Minsk. somewhere where there are no cell phone signals and no postal service. and no hot women. and he can take leave every couple of months when i'll be happy to see him and the stop-watch can be reset to the beginning.
i'm happy to browse through any other suggestions the Universe has to bring to the table, but, as i sit here, a better solution does not spring to mind.
besides i'm bored of being the Bored Identity already...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment