A MAN'S MAN. (who knew?!)

i've known Jonathan Horrell for a very long time but always found him to be a tad stressful to be around. whining oooon and oooon about his ex-girlfriend, to which i would half-listen, but all the time be rolling my mind's eye thinking 'ah harden UP already guy'.

anyway, as the Universe in its infinite wisdom would have it, i came to Cape Town and was flying home for the weekend. i was in deep thought at the top of the stairs at the door of the plane when i heard someone call my name from, well out of space it sounded like. but i'd taken my medication so it had to have originated in the real world. again i heard my name being called and was suddenly filled with feelings somewhere between dread and relief to see Jonathan in the cockpit of the plane.

i marched in and said something like, 'please tell me you got to bed before 12. and if you didn't lie to me!' goddammit i guess this was bound to happen sometime...

by the time my pulse had settled i was home. alive. i felt bad. so i sms'd him that he should come around and i was sorry for being such a bad friend.

he came over.

and, i hate eating tuna but i hate eating my own words even more, i've seen him EVERY SINGLE DAY since then!

i really hate when this happens and i think it only happens to ME because i've got such a big mouth and everything that pours out of it is always heavily loaded with a big OPINION about something. THAT'S why the Universe keeps doing this to me. so that i will shut up already and keep my thoughts to myself. then i won't have to work so hard to clean my face when there's word residue all over it.

he's a nice guy. wait, that sounds naff, he's a... well he's not what i expected. ok, i have to carefully select a word that won't SERIOUSLY compromise my coolness here. in fact the very thought of this is making me swallow my epiglottis SO DEEP that i'm going to have to pry it out of my oesophagus with a crow bar. i'll fold for now, a closed mouth gathers no foot.

but how's THIS though - it takes a strong person to stomach my not-so-perfect brain issue. he handled this. didn't phase him one bit. (did he HEAR me correctly...)

i feel quite, goddammit WORD ME someone! ok I feel very RELAXED around him. and you all know that THAT is something of an achievement with the likes of ME. am i STILL like such hard work to be around? that it makes me sit up and take note when i'm NORMAL around someone. no no i'm FANTASTIC what am i saying?! i'm a JOY to be around ALWAYS to EVERYONE!

i'm training with Jonathan. i'm better than him. aLOT!

in fact the only sport i've noticed him to really excel in is the teasing of Sandy Green. but i've got broad shoulders (thank you Vic Alley!).

and he's always got to sound off with the last word in an never ending battle of wits with me. i told him to leave his knife at home when he's competing in a gun fight. actually, i should point blank refuse to engage in a battle of wits with such an unarmed person.

but Jonathan Horrell is also something else. i THINK. maaaaybe.

he just might be a man's man.

that was very difficult for me to write FYI and my knuckles are still burning from the effort.

i'm not going to say much here because he's going to READ this and i do NOT want him to think that i ABSOLUTELY think he's a real man because i'm not SURE about that yet i said he APPEARS to be a man's man oKAY?!

but he SEEMS to be pretty much in control of his life, his emotions and his actions. i like that. and he's not stupid - not that i'm an honorary member of MENSA or anything but i'm NOT exactly working in a government institution - although there are other institutions that would probably gladly have me. but not for a job.

so there you have it. what do you think people? no no hold on save that opinion for later when i can varify these statements or else i'll be dining on word fodder again and i DO NOT want to blow my diet...

(now put THIS in your mouth and chew it my delicious-honey-centered-toblerone-double-thick-bar-one-chocolate-milk-shake-waffle-with-cream-AND-ice-cream-and-seven-different-flavors-of-syrup-caramel-dipped-soft-serve-with-rainbow-colored-sprinkle-spread-decadent-NIGELLA-like-sticky-toffee-pudding-JAMIE-like-hot-berries-in-fine-phyllo-pastry-saliva-inducing-lemon-meringue-pie, and, changing down into 2nd, sweeter than all the sugar-cane in South-East Asia, cooler than too big a mouthful of sorbet, more divine than the angel Gabriel...should i reload? na, i'll save the ammo for later so i can set my weapon on automatic and save myself the energy.)

FYI i was forced to use high calorie food analogies here because it appears to be a language he understands WELL.