SANDY'S XMAS GESTURE TO THE HANDICAPPED.

as able-bodied people we often take our bodies for granted. and it's at times like this that i think we should all take a moment and stop to think of those less fortunate than us. take for example those among us that were born without a spine!

can you IMAGINE such a thing?! can you picture the effect that such an affliction must have on your self-esteem? and the possibility of your ability to be able to sustain a close relationship must lie somewhere between zero and 0.1 on a scale of 0 to FOREVER. wow, we truely don't know how lucky we are.

why i've decided to focus on this unfortunate condition this year, is because it has become apparent to me that some of my friends have suffered with this horrendous ailment for their ENTIRE LIVES and have managed to hide it from me for THE WHOLE TIME! yes. it's true. the amount of BULL-SHIT they must've had to have spun to divert my attention from a defect like THAT must've been mind-blowing! kudos guys, you had me.

i'm telling you people i've seen these guys with their SHIRTS OFF! i've rubbed oil on their SHOULDERS for heavens' sake! but i was probably enjoying their company too much at the time to notice.

it all fell into place however, when the pressure of being around me obviously became just TOO MUCH to bare. they could handle the stress no longer and they chose to scurry off into the interior of themselves and hide instead of just telling me. but, i guess, how do you break it to someone you've known for years that you were BORN WITHOUT A SPINE?!

guys, my thoughts are with you and i'd like to say i feel your pain, but how can i even BEGIN TO IMAGINE living inside your poor tortured minds?! in fact, i'd rather hold a football sized dollop of sorbet in my mouth because the effect will be the same on my brain.

in sympathy however, and with technology spiralling upward the way it is today, i have every confidence that the first successful spinal-transplant is just around the corner, and i have taken the liberty of putting your names down FIRST on the donor list!

don't thank me, i love you guys, and i just want you to get better soon so you can live normally like the rest of us and enjoy the same quality of life that we so take for granted.

my thoughts are with you this festive season, hang in there and try and make the most of it.