"the wheel turns", "karmic debt", "they'll get their day", "don't do God's work for him", "let nature take it's course". you know this type of phrase. and it's included in our inner-vocab because it is a manifestation of what happens in real life every day to people who've misbehaved. which is EVERYBODY. without exception.what is this? i'll tell you what this is THIS is the Universe taking REVENGE that's what it IS!
what ever happened to "turn the other cheek"? why can't the Universe do THAT? after all that's what Jesus would do. wouldn't he? i guess we'll never know the answer to that question because who can read the mind of Jesus? and by the looks of things he's not coming back to take a press conference any time soon, so we'll have to wing it on our own down here until the end of time. which is not going to be tomorrow, i think we can safely say.
in the mean time people are getting hurt down here maaan! and we're not allowed to defend ourselves because revenge is not on the list of what-to-do's in the Cosmic Justice System. PLUS, if we DO take revenge, it makes us feel like shit and it never works out the way we'd seen it happening when we had it all mapped out in our heads anyway. it's like we were created with an implant that disallows our revenge plans to ever pan out. and we can't enjoy it if, if in the remote chance, they do!
so what? i must sit back and do ZERO to people that disregard me and make me feel like crap and GOD can have ALL the pleasure of caning them, in His own sweet time which DEFINITELY does NOT synch up with MY time - in fact, i think God is a bit of a Capetonian in this regard.
now where was i going with this? oh yes right, now listen up all you UIOA Clifton Diamond Jews out there, you are also 'God's People' just in case you thought you were from a superior parallel universe or something. in fact you are God's CHOSEN people. if i were you i'd ask myself whether that's altogether a good thing. i sure as hell wouldn't want to be the centre of attention of a vengeful deity. but you're too thick-skinned to even contemplate that idea. in fact, you'd probably condescend to Abraham, Isaac and Joseph if they stood there in their robes at Newport Cafe.
so with all this in mind how's what happened to me today: i walked past the new Nina Roche store in the Waterfront just now - Nina Roche is just about the most expensive shoe shop south of the equator and it originates in Hyde Park Corner in Joburg, my home track. two Jewess's were standing outside. i overheard them saying, "this is Nina ROCHE you know. you won't get a pair of shoes inside THIS store for under FIVE GRAND...", and, while they were saying this they gave me the disapproving jew-once-over. blatently. they looked right down their standard Dr.Saul Braun-issue noses at me - geez i'm sure that man can perform THAT op with his eyes closed with one hand behind tied behind his back while watching reruns of Scrubs to keep himself awake by now. good for you Saul.
but remember now, they were standing OUTSIDE Nina Roche, indicating that they were too shit scared to go IN, because the humiliation of not BUYING anything combined with having to hide the mortification on their faces every time they turned over a shoe to look at the price might've been too much for their botox to handle and they couldn't risk a melt-down in a shop of THIS stature in it's opening week.
my chest swelled inside my skin and MY face didn't have botox to stun my expression, nor did i WANT it to. i beamed a smile at them that just about exposed my wisdom teeth, turned into the door with my arms spread out wide in a hug-me-now pose and marched inside toward the staff, like i was greeting my family at arrivals at the airport after i'd been away on Mars for the past two years. i kept the corner of my eye carefully focussed on them and i watched as their jaws unhinged and fell onto the tiles at their feet as the girls all yelled in unison, "SANDYYYYY!!!".
"welcome to CAPE TOWN Nina Roche!" i announced and i hugged each and every one of them.
"hey! GUESS WHAT we've brought your GLADIATOR SANDLES!!!" they put them at my feet.
the two women with half a face now stood IN the door, mesmerised. Nazneen - the manager - looked over at the two of them and said, "not that she's ever going to WEAR them, she'll carry on walking around in shorts and slops while ALL HER SHOES that we've EVER sold her sit at home in her cupboard, unworn. can you believe it?!"
they couldn't believe it. and i never looked back at them again because the Gladiator sandles held my eyes in a vice.
but hang on just a minute, wasn't that revenge that just took place right there? and God's timing happened to be zeroed in to the last fraction of a milli-second. rewind. so how do i view this now?
revenge IS allowed to be had by us, but GOD must execute it on OUR BEHALF. okay i can deal with that. it's not FIRST PRIZE but i'll take anything i can get. revenge is revenge and it feels FANTASTIC!
and just to get the last word in (sorry God), ladies, before you criticise someone in future, first walk a mile in their shoes. of course you won't be walking in MINE because THEY'RE from Nina Roche!
1 comment:
very bitter. why?
Post a Comment