VIDA e COCAINE.

the cover might be different but the effect's exactly the same.

for all of you who've dabbled in street drugs and the very thought of when you're about to lose your heart as it breaks through your rib cage and slips through your jittery fingers into the storm-drain of the gutter you're lying in kinda makes you want to add 911 onto your speed-dial, learn from my mistake and NEVER order an extra large skinny cappuccino at Vida e Cafe and, as you start to feel it kick in, order ANOTHER one.

every self-respecting substance abuser who's worth their gram in coke KNOWS that anything that makes you feel a bit 'on' never ends with ONE serving and ALWAYS leaves you feeling the exact opposite of the degree of awesomeness you felt in the beginning.

Vida e Cafe has even got that whole 'party' vibe going on that distracts you while you get high and, before you know it, you're fucked and looking for a drink to bring you straight. if you're not drinking on the other hand, you have to ride out the rest of the day feeling wired and edgy, and God help anyone who gets in front of your dilated pupils THEN.

boy oh boy i did this yesterday. and of course i vowed, like all junkies on a downer the morning after, to NEVER DO THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN.

i had to go to the Waterfront in the morning, feeling like SHIT with like, the entire population of Joburg milling around in there. it was rough. and of course i had to walk past Vida and, you guessed it, like a junkie i watched myself selectively REMOVE the repercussions of yesterday's experience from my mind and considered starting from the beginning and order the exact same thing!

i sms'd my mom and some of my friends to talk a word of sanity into my thick head but you know what THEY said? my mom said "have it it'll make you feel good," and my FRIEND said "why don't you have some COCAINE?! go oooon!". that pulled me straight. i was like "shjaaa, whatever!" and i ordered a decaf instead. do you know that even the decaf put me on a bit of a buzz, like a placebo kinda thing. amazing.

but i'm wise to this kind of thing now so i'll walk wide careful circles around Vida in future before i place an order. i need my heart in perfect working order so i can squeeze some more people out of it before i die (read 'IF THE UNIVERSE CAN TAKE REVENGE WHY CAN'T I?' in case you're wondering if i meant you. i didn't).